People Think Pets Enjoy Wearing Halloween Costumes?
No, friend. That’s not joy—that’s despair wrapped in polyester and Velcro.
Fawn French Buldog dog with red devil costum wearing a homemade fluffy full body suit with fake arms holding pitchfork, with devil tail, horns and black bat wings standing in front of blurry wall
Let’s get one thing straight: your pet does not want to wear that taco costume. Or the hot dog one. Or the one where you strap fairy wings to its back and call it “adorable.”
A new poll says one in six Americans actually believe their pets enjoy dressing up for Halloween.
One in six! That’s roughly the same number of people who think “Pumpkin Spice” is a personality.
Look, I get it. We all tell ourselves a little lie every October 31st. “Oh, he loves it!” “She’s smiling!” “He wagged his tail!” No, friend. That’s not joy—that’s despair wrapped in polyester and Velcro.
I speak from experience. My old beagle-basset mix, Poor Dead Norman, once dressed as a cowboy. Hat, bandana, tiny vest—the whole “yeehaw” package. He looked miserable.
But my family? We were convinced he loved it. Took pictures. Cooed. We posted them online like proud stage parents. And now, I fear Norman still hates us... all the way from dog heaven.
Let’s be honest about the costumes our pets definitely do not enjoy:
- Anything involving hats. They will remove it faster than you can say “trick or treat.”
- The full-body pumpkin suit that makes them waddle like a toddler in a snowsuit.
- The taco shell costume that squishes their sides.
- The bee outfit with antennae that droop in shame.
- And the infamous lion’s mane that turns every golden retriever into a furry existential crisis.
The poll also found 40% of people think their pets either like costumes or “don’t mind.” That’s cute. Delusional, but cute. Meanwhile, 45% of people admitted their pets hate it—and that’s the group whose couches haven’t been peed on in retaliation.
So this Halloween, before you zip up your goldendoodle in that superhero cape, remember: they’re doing it for your Instagram likes, not for love of the holiday. And somewhere, Poor Dead Norman is looking down, shaking his floppy cowboy hat in judgment.
