Good News: Dr. Fauci Says Santa Claus Is Immune To COVID-19
At least some good news is coming out of this mess of a year. Dr. Fauci says Santa Claus is safe from all our earthly coronavirus worries.
Per USA Today, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert states, “Santa is exempt from this because Santa, of all the good qualities, has a lot of good innate immunity.”
And although Santa is older and overweight, which would make a normal person at-risk, he is good. Fauci adds, “Santa is not going to be spreading any infections to anybody.”
Not only is Dr. Fauci confident that Santa is safe from coronavirus, so are a few other experts.
Dr. Peter Hotez, dean of the National School of Tropical Medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, adds, “I hear the ventilation in Santa’s workshop is not the best, and opening windows in North Pole winters problematic. The good news is that mask compliance there is pretty good, and the elves are committed to social distancing. Mrs. Claus has implemented a program of regular testing and the reindeers now lead contact tracing.”
Dr. Greg Poland, director of the Mayo Clinic’s Vaccine Research Group, assures children that he recently spoke with Santa, and everything is A-Ok. He said, “It was a good reminder to the elves about wearing the mask properly. They now do that. It’s mandatory in the North Pole.”
He also explains that toy production is on schedule, the reindeer are healthy, and everyone is doing what they can in the North Pole to keep everyone around them safe.
He lastly points out that regardless of circumstances, the best thing to do right now is to stay positive. “Christmas is really about what’s in our hearts, and a pandemic can’t take that away from us.”